I’ve tried journal blogs, but I just couldn’t get past the initial “telling
strangers about my feelings” aspect. I’m not a very emotional person anyways,
so I don’t know why I thought a blog where I diary my every thought was
something I needed. All in all, I only found it awkward, and it turned into a
chore after my second post. (I think I started two or three more of this kind
of blog, never making it past the third post.)
Then I tried a design blog, for back in the day, I was a graphics design
major, and I thought an academic blog was something that would benefit me. (As
I am still “officially” a graphics design major, one of my academic blogs is
still on the web, at dessigns.wordpress.com. If you check it out - I know, the
site made it sound like I wanted that more than anything, but that’s before my
quest for reality began.)
And then, there was that once where I’d created a blog just because my
friend had asked me to, but that’s silly, and we won’t go there.
These are all beside the point. My point in telling you my rough blogging
history is this: I don’t enjoy blogging my feelings, and I don’t enjoy feeling like
I have a responsibility to my blog. So, this is a blog that will work for me and you.
Bah, well, you see, for you to know why you can benefit from this blog, I have
even more of my completely irrelevant life to speak of.
I grew up in a very religious family, and as is the case with many families,
I was so accustomed to the lifestyle and the teachings, having never known
anything else, that I never questioned “the faith.” Then, as all good kids tend
to do (however, I am not generalizing, many good kids do not do this), I went
away to college. Being away from those who constantly influenced me quickly set
my mind up to think on its own, and I quickly began to question.
The moment I began to question started with stumbleupon.com (a fantastic
site, really check it out if you haven’t.) I stumbled upon the following (enlargement recommended):
This is a list of logical fallacies, or flawed logic commonly used in
arguments. The breaking point for me was realizing that my religion was based
on a good amount of them. (No offense meant to those God-fearin’ folk out
there. But if these fallacies are all very good and well if they apply to political
and physical matters, why do the rules change for religion? Simply put, they
don’t, and religion is unfortunately based on fallacies.)
However, you don’t know who I am and I don’t aim to keep anything from you,
so I will tell you the second view-changing event that occurred. One day, as college
life is rumored to go, I was offered a mystical, magical mushroom, and I ate
that mystical, magical mushroom, and it forever changed my way of thinking.
For, after veering away from my base religion, who’d have known where I would
have gone? I like to think I would have found my way to this spiritual place
anyway, but without the initial boost from the psychedelic drugs, mayhaps I
became a druid or a Wiccan (both of which I find fascinating, but simply not
for me.) I am not recommending drugs to the masses – you do not need them.
However, I used them and they brought me to a wonderful place of what my first
spiritual guide called “isness.” I felt a fantastic sense of “oneness” and “being”
and I fell in love with the strong spiritual feelings. My wonderful first spiritual guide
made sure to tell me that I could again discover that presence and wonder
without the help of drugs, and so I began my quest.
In ways, this affected my decision to change my major, for my life rather became
a quest for truth in every sense. My schooling and spirituality both reflected
the strong change in my life; for I realized quite deeply that I would much
rather spend my career pursuing the secrets of the cosmos than designing
websites for this consumerism nation.
And, indeed, this brings us quite sufficiently up to speed. I’m learning a lot
at this stage in my life. This blog, therefore, is not to will strangers to
read about my complaints and problems – no one likes a whiner – but to teach. I
am not teacher, but I do make plenty of mistakes, and that’s what you can learn
from. I don’t have much to teach from the perspective of knowledge, for I’m
eighteen years old, and that’s hardly a handful of knowledge that I have to
share. But I know that my postings can help others to learn at my pace at the
very least, for my only intent is to share things that I think you’d like to
know.
So, welcome to the quest for reality, friend!
Just a few more things to say.
1. I call this blog The Secret Life
of Science only because those in my hometown do not know of my new lifestyle.
Yes, I know, I sound like a hypocrite right off the bat, for truth is very important to me. However, telling
your friends and family a sentence that will cause them to believe you’re hellbound
is not easy, and I simply haven’t gotten there yet. In time, I know I have to
come clean, for I’d like every part of my life to brim with honesty. In time.
2. The title “Dr. Jaclyn” is only
ironic and, yes, wishful thinking. Perhaps one day I can claim a doctorate, but
for now, I am just a wee, broke college student who appreciates the wonders of
marijuana. (I told you I’d keep nothing from you. I find that my ganja does a
good job of opening the mind to spiritual ideas.) So, not a doctor yet.
3. I’m not going to spout
nonsense for the sake of more readers, so I’ll be honest. The day I did shrooms
was one of the most wonderful days I’ve ever had, and I do not regret it.
Furthermore, I fully plans to use those magic mushrooms again. HOWEVER (and
this is a statement that demanded all caps), I do not promote the abuse of
drugs! Everything in moderation, as they say. Furthermore, mind-opening drugs
(just like drugs of any kind) are not
good for you, no matter what you hear. It is up to you whether the mental
and spiritual benefits will outweigh the potential physical damage. Just do
your research wisely, folks. Finally, there are a good many mind-opening
psychedelic drugs out there, but allow me to simply warn you – acid (LSD) is a
different pill to swallow entirely (and not one I’d personally take to expand my
consciousness.) Start small. Be smart. Welcome to the psychedelic journey.
